Our Strength Lies in Our Softness
In witnessing a dear friend go through difficult times, I've been reminded that our greatest strength – our courage – comes from our willingness to be seen; to see ourselves and to allow others we trust to see us.
This is softness. To allow the messy feelings come and go, without judgment, without resistance. To share our truth with others we trust to hold compassionate space for us. To reach out for support, to ask for help. To discuss the shame, the fears.
It takes great courage, not to run away from the thoughts, emotions, internal narratives causing us pain. Not to sweep them under the rug, move the sofa over, plop down on top and go about our day.
Strength is not acting like things are fine, thinking positively, or “getting on with it”. No. Strength is when we lead ourselves through the murky, disorienting process of healing; holding up the painful emotions, examining them with curiosity, asking them what they want us to know, and offering ourselves grace and compassion.
This, dear ones, is how we soften. And in turn, how we strengthen our capacity to feel, heal, and connect with ourselves, and the world around us.
I see this strength and courage in my clients every day; their willingness to show up fully and invite me in with their honesty, their smiles, and their tears. Seeing it modeled allows me to recognize and honor my own process, when I too sit in the client’s seat.
And in sitting on both sides, I’ve learned that you have a responsibility. We all have a responsibility.
If you are experiencing pain, you have a responsibility to be there for yourself, to not run away or brush things off. If you don’t know how this is done, consider it an opportunity to step deeper into your strength and reach out for help, in whatever capacity feels right to you.
If you find yourself supporting someone else in pain, you too, have a responsibility. It’s to hold space for them, to give them the gift of feeling seen, heard and understood. It’s not your turn to be heard, it’s your turn to acknowledge and validate; to look beyond yourself and listen with compassion.
If you’d like one-on-on support to develop greater emotional awareness and resilience to benefit your relationship with food, yourself and others, get in touch for a free 30-minute session.
